“Russians are dank. Russians are crazy.” And Russians are marketing it.

“Russians are dank. Russians are crazy,” says David Treybich, 21, a personal trainer, martial artist and aspiring reality TV star. “We drink vodka. We go nuts. Come on, what’s better than that?” Treybich was interviewed by the New York Times about “Brighton Beach”, a reality show that is the Russian-American answer to MTV’s “Jersey Shore”, poised to bring low-brow Russian chic to a television near you.

The casting call reads:

“Are you the Russian Snooki or The Situation? Are you a super outgoing and fun-loving Russian-American that sometimes sneaks kalbaska, pel’meni and vodka from the fridge? Can people hear the Euro/Techno/Russian music blasting from your car before they see you pull up? Do you attend birthday parties at Russian restaurants every weekend? If so, we may want to cast you for a new reality TV show that centers around a group of Russian-American strangers living together in a house on the shores of Brighton Beach for a summer. The cameras will roll as you do what you do best — eat, drink and PARTY.”

Clearly “Brighton Beach” will introduce the best of Russian-American culture to the world (or at least MTV-watching North America). The show is looking for “Outgoing guys and girls between the ages of 21 and 30 who would be willing to spend one summer living in an all-expense paid digs in the New York City area and consider themselves to be Russian-American (or from the former U.S.S.R., including the Caucasus).” I’m glad they include the Caucuses in the casting call — how better to ensure the same kind of fireworks as the summer of 2008?

Since when did Russia become synonymous with vodka bars and partying? What happened to the avant garde? To Russian literature? And when did the best gig around for a post-Soviet immigrant become partying in a wired beach house, re-enacting every soap opera drama known to man? I miss the good old days of television when Russians played chain smoking gold-toothed bad-guys or double crossing double-D devotchka spies.

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